Friday, April 15, 2011
I Missed My Dad Today
Ever had one of those days where you miss someone who's gone? Well today was one of those days for me. It comes without warning. It may be a song that I hear, or that distinct smell that he had, or someone I meet with his name, or the person who's mannerisms are so much like his that all I can do is stare. It comes fast but always lingers a little before leaving. My thoughts of him are less frequent now after 5 years. The pain is no longer the hard stinging kind but now a sweet pain. One where I can with tear filled eyes smile and just wonder. I wonder about so many things with him. How he didn't share so many things with us that we would have loved to have known...and I wonder. How he accomplished so many things he worked so very hard for. Did he know how proud of him we were? How he couldn't show his emotions but I bared my all for fear of it being our last. There are things I know in life but there is so much I do not know. I do not know why his life was done & over at the age of 54. But I do know I serve a God who does know, so I don't have to... and that is freeing. For I have found freedom in not having to carry a weight of knowing. For me, I trust & obey & walk...and at the end of the day that's always enough.