My weight has always been a battle.
Battle in the sense that I've not been comfortable with it at all times.
And I say this because when I've been healthy in my eating & exercising_ I know what it feels like_ it feels great & I'm comfortable in my skin. I have a booty & a hip thing going.. I just do, and they can get a little too wide or big at times. To where I have even let it affect me being at ease with myself while in front of people_ because if I allow it, it can have that much control over me.
I guess around the time #3 turned a year I remember seeing a friends picture taken of me and was like woah, am I really that big? Funny how you know you are but your mind can play tricks with ya, you know? The next morning I woke up determined to start my dieting/ taking the GNC pills to boost my metabolism, etc. When I grabbed for the bottle of metaba-boosters I heard that inner prompting (when you know the Lord is speaking to you) say "if you won't take these I will show you how to do this the right way".
Side note: I come from a long line of dieter-family members and there isn't a memory I have of not being conscious of my "weight". We've done the Sugar Busters, The Atkins Diet, the soup diet, you name it_ we've done it and I think you can take away something good from each...but.. it's not about a diet. It's about eating right & living with the mindset that I want to be here for as long as I can. And the only way for that to happen is if I take care of myself. I also come from a long line of sweet & dessert eaters. My mom would have cake for breakfast and after every meal we had dessert... so is how my addiction to sugar came to be.
Sugar has been my drug at times because it's just that strong. You crave it, get grouchy without it, and it can consume your thinking. But I knew what I heard from the Lord that morning was real and so I put the diet pills up and began my journey of becoming more healthy. It was a daily thing, and it was a cumulation of small steps put together. I learned to control the quantity of what I was taking in, started figuring out how my body needed protein, cut out all of the chips & crackers, switched from white to wheat, started to drink more water, added fiber intake, bought an elliptical, and started walking everyday...and after a year I had lost weight. But most importantly, I felt good physically and mentally but physically my body felt really good.
I never have owned a scale and still don't to this day because I don't want to be tied to a number I just want to be the healthiest me. :) And I wish I could tell you that I no longer struggle with this and that I've kicked it's tale..but I haven't. If I'm not careful I can let sugar creep back in_ I can stop exercising, etc..
The difference being though that I now know. I've experienced the freedom of not letting food be a controlling factor to having it be something that is fuel for my body. And so I press on in this fight to become healthier for me and for my family's sake. So when I read
Laura's post on getting healthy it resonated...she is giving 1 "health challenge" a week. Again it's not a diet_ just a way for us to be more aware of what we're putting into ourselves. I love the way she writes, the things she shares, and I think she's super cute (wish I could wear her hair).
Heather :)