Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Pressing on


My weight has always been a battle.
Battle in the sense that I've not been comfortable with it at all times.
And I say this because when I've been healthy in my eating & exercising_ I know what it feels like_ it feels great & I'm comfortable in my skin. I have a booty & a hip thing going.. I just do, and they can get a little too wide or big at times. To where I have even let it affect me being at ease with myself while in front of people_ because if I allow it, it can have that much control over me.

I guess around the time #3 turned a year I remember seeing a friends picture taken of me and was like woah, am I really that big? Funny how you know you are but your mind can play tricks with ya, you know? The next morning I woke up determined to start my dieting/ taking the GNC pills to boost my metabolism, etc. When I grabbed for the bottle of metaba-boosters I heard that inner prompting (when you know the Lord is speaking to you) say "if you won't take these I will show you how to do this the right way". 

Side note: I come from a long line of dieter-family members and there isn't a memory I have of not being conscious of my "weight". We've done the Sugar Busters, The Atkins Diet, the soup diet, you name it_ we've done it and I think you can take away something good from each...but.. it's not about a diet. It's about eating right & living with the mindset that I want to be here for as long as I can. And the only way for that to happen is if I take care of myself. I also come from a long line of sweet & dessert eaters. My mom would have cake for breakfast and after every meal we had dessert... so is how my addiction to sugar came to be.

Sugar has been my drug at times because it's just that strong. You crave it, get grouchy without it, and it can consume your thinking. But I knew what I heard from the Lord that morning was real and so I put the diet pills up and began my journey of becoming more healthy. It was a daily thing, and it was a cumulation of small steps put together. I learned to control the quantity of what I was taking in, started figuring out how my body needed protein, cut out all of the chips & crackers, switched from white to wheat, started to drink more water, added fiber intake, bought an elliptical, and started walking everyday...and after a year I had lost weight. But most importantly, I felt good physically and mentally but physically my body felt really good.

I never have owned a scale and still don't to this day because I don't want to be tied to a number I just want to be the healthiest me. :) And I wish I could tell you that I no longer struggle with this and that I've kicked it's tale..but I haven't. If I'm not careful I can let sugar creep back in_ I can stop exercising, etc..
The difference being though that I now know. I've experienced the freedom of not letting food be a controlling factor to having it be something that is fuel for my body. And so I press on in this fight to become healthier for me and for my family's sake. So when I read Laura's post on getting healthy it resonated...she is giving 1 "health challenge" a week. Again it's not a diet_  just a way for us to be more aware of what we're putting into ourselves. I love the way she writes, the things she shares, and I think she's super cute (wish I could wear her hair).

Also linking up with & another lovely lady Casey Weigand for 

Heather :)

18 comments:

  1. Thanks for the link. What a great idea!

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  2. Yes! Thanks for the link. I think it is natural trait women have, not always being confident with themselves. And I agree with you, sometimes its hard to not let food control you because it is such a big part of life- family, community, etc. You are so beautiful and so is your body!

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  3. I love your perspective on this: it's about a lifestyle change not just a "diet". Good for you!!!

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  4. i could have seriously written this post myself....i just had a conversation with my husband 3 days ago about how unhappy i am with myself right now. food has always been my comfort and my control....the word diet seriously makes me wanna drive through mcdonalds..ha! so i hear you when you say you dont have a scale...i will hop over and read that post, i need it!
    xoxo

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  5. first off. you are gorgeous. and i LOVE that picture of you with the daffodils.

    amazing.

    about a year ago i finished losing 120lbs myself. glory to god - solely - for the strength it took to accomplish that (his power is made perfect in my weakness)

    but the last 6-8 months i have let a lot of things slide and have put on a few (10-15) of those lbs again.

    looking back on my pictures from my vacation last year, and with this years approaching i have been convicted of getting back on track.

    working on it now as well. in God's strength.

    LOVE seeing that you are doing the same. and i know with God's power, you can truly do it. :)

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  6. Thanks for linking up and sharing sweet Heather!! Excited to share this journey with you! One step at a time!!! :)

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  7. Ummm lets be best friends. this post is so me.
    Holla fro the big bootied mama's. even when i'm thin it there.
    Isn't Laura a+mazing

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  8. You are a beautiful mother! I don't own a scale either. Better off for me to stay off those things;) Thanks for visiting and following my blog. I am glad to have a blogger friend on the East Coast. (We just moved here from Oregon.) A blogger friend that is used to the humidity!!! I might get there someday. I have found that I HATE mosquitoes and they love me. Look forward to getting to know you in the blogging world! Blessings to you and your family...
    ~ JuRita

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  9. You are beautiful inside and out! This post was amazing and something that I totally struggle with most of the time. (i do own a scale and the number thing can be discouraging most of the time) I love how you give God the glory even through dieting! God gives us so much strength if we will just let Him.

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  10. Ok we should totally be BFFs. Because I could have written that myself! Every word of it. Ive read Made to Crave(hands down THE.BEST. Book on the subject of filling our emptiness through food and anything else we turn to rather than God)and have been trying to make healthier choices. And just tonight our pastor spoke on our bodies being the temple of the holy spirit. Ive known that. Ive heard it a thousand times. But with all that Ive been feeling adn going through lately it really struck a cord with me.
    Your post is just another confirmation. Im so glad I found your blog recently!

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  11. Oh Heather - you are adorable exactly how you are!!! That is my objective opinion, as I don't really know you. :) I grew up with a mother that was constantly dieting and overly concerned about what her body looked like, and I know that can take a toll. It definitely gave me some body image issues!! All we can do is be healthy and set a great example for our kiddos--and from reading this post I am sure you are doing just that! :)

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  12. I think you are gorgeous, but I get where you are coming from. I've always struggled with self image problems even when I was a mere 100 pounds. I work out all the time now, but food is a major comfort/reward thing for me. I am a sugar girl too. I'm working on and plan to read Made to Crave after just hearing about it a few days ago. Love your honesty in the post. I think it reached a lot of us struggling with similar issues.

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  13. I have been struggling with weight for 2 years now after my daughter was born. A few months ago i found out i had hypothyroidism and thats what was preventing me from loosing weight even though i was eating right and working my ass off. So i can relate but girl you look amazing! seriously id trade you in an instant :)

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  14. love this post!! i'm such a dessert eater too...and cake or anything sugary tastes so good for breakfast! you are right that it isn't about diets but about a lifestyle to eat healthy. keep up the good work!! such an inspiration!

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  15. Hahaha I want Laura's hair too! And your hair come to think of it! This had always been a struggle for me too. I've always been a big weight watchers lover but somehow after my 4th baby I just don't have the brain capacity to keep up on that. Right now I'm doing a detox that is giving me much more energy but I have yet to add in excercise. You are beautiful friend!

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  16. first of all, you are GORGEOUS!! for reals. :) also, i love the idea of a health challenge..i think we all need it, I know I do. love to you bloggy friend!

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  17. My husband and I both battle with food and eating right. He at least is a regular at the gym but anyway we were talking about how we feel soooo much better just eating healthy but somehow that crappy food makes it's way in, leaving us feeling like crap and with a negative outlook on ourself and our bodies. We are trying to overpower those extreme unhealthy eating urges we get! It is soo hard!

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  18. Heather. I love this post....I'm just now reading it...Don't know how I missed it. As you know , and SAW on this last visit, I'm right there in the struggle. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and Laura's blog. They both are encouraging.

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