Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Let's talk about..

When I read Mrs. T's post today I was challenged_and I'm always up for a good challenge. 
Sex can be an uncomfortable topic, right? But should it be? We are bombarded with wrong images, screwed up relationships, worlds built upon fantasy_ so why do we cringe when presented with the topic? I'm asking myself these questions as I type and I decided I wanted to write as if to my kids. They are reading my blog anyway and we have these conversations with them quite often.
So I will touch on some points we are teaching/ going through right now with them. It is crucial to their dad and I that they learn about sex at home_ not from their friends_not from school_ not even from church_ I want all of those avenues to be a reinforcement to what we're teaching. Ultimately, though we want to be their source because Jesus is our source and as they grow Jesus will be their main source too.

Gosh, we know sex is such a broad topic because that's just 1 part of it. It actually starts in the kitchen (we like to say) because it's my husband talking with me, those touches, him helping ease my load of things to be done_ you know before it ever even gets to the bedroom. And on our end towards our husbands_are we respecting them, making them feel valued/ wanted...and that's about all for them...just kidding but in most instances I don't think they require as much as us girls do. So here are a few thoughts I have on the subject:

*Song of Songs (a whole book in the bible was written pertaining to sex) I think it was pretty important to Jesus or He wouldn't have put that book in there. He could have just left it out..go read it if it's been awhile.

*We don't want our kids to just be told "don't have sex before marriage"_ "it's wrong"_"it's bad". At the end of the day that won't make them not have sex...And it's not the truth_sex is good when in a covenant relationship with your husband/wife_that's what it was meant for. If we choose to not obey that there are consequences..and we tell them what they are. Just like when we overeat_ we gain weight as a consequence. Sex outside of marriage has all kinds of negative consequences/baggage that you will carry into a relationship if not saving it for marriage. But to just say don't do it..well it ain't working.. I think there's a lot of proof on that one.

*For my girls we talk about purity_ I tell them they have a "treasure"and it's something special that they have to protect/ guard and save until they decide to give their treasure away to the man they choose to spend the rest of their life with.

*For our boy, it's so important that he see how to treat a lady..by his dad modeling it by loving me/ by the way he treats me_ and our kids are soaking it all in..just like little sponges..and they will do what we do..what they've seen done.

*It's uncomfortable when our kids ask us at the dinner table about the slang words they've heard while playing.. or what a certain term means (whew we've had a few of those lately) but I think that's a good place to be.. because their asking us _instead of the neighbor(and they may be doing that to) but at least their getting mom and dad's version. They're gonna know and find out..we just want them to hear truth and not just the lies.

At the end of the day we don't want our kids making the same mistakes we have made and if they are striving for purity_striving to live for Jesus_ striving for a life that is God honoring_ sex for them will always be good. So yay for sex and yay for talking about it in a God way...because we should. Instead of just all of the yucky guck we hear and see from the world.

Heather :)

Linking up with Mrs T.


  1. We have had the same discussion here.... the WHY is what matters....

  2. Heather we should totally do a whole segment on song of songs. everyone should read it. WOAH! i did a bible study on being a titus 2 wife and mother. it referred to song of songs a lot. man i got a reality check.
    i am so with you about the kids learning form you. we try to answer the boys' questions best we can. but i have to be honest i am starting to hate car rides. that when they ask me about slang terms. :-/ the only bonus about that is that i don't have to look at their faces. i still make me 12 year old sit in the back seat. ha.

  3. what a great post and not a mommy yet, I totally agree! thank you to you and mrs t for opening up today!

  4. Great post girl! That's how we've taught our girls... Not so much on what could happen if they have sex before marraige and the negative consequences that follow, but rather what amazing blessing they will experiece by doing it Gods way. And that purity is so much more than just the sex part. It is such a heart issue from our attitudes to our motives to our clothes.... Good stuff girl. Thanks for putting it out there!

  5. I love this post, Heather. Totally agree...information must come from home. I think being upfront and honest, as uncomfortable as it can be is the best option. I would never want my kids to learn from their peers at school. : )

  6. I'm so glad to know that there are people out there doing such a good job with their kids in terms of talking about sex! So important, and so refreshing in today's fallen world.

  7. So glad you took the challenge! I'm not sure I'm able to but I did find you through Mrs.T link up and I'm not following along too!

  8. you said it perfectly. I agree 100% and I'm so blessed to know how other women and families are approaching this topic. love to you sweet blog friend ;)

  9. Love this post! Thanks for sharing, you inspired me!

  10. Such a good post! Amazing. :o) Gives me courage to talk with my children about it!


  11. yes. amen.
    HE did put that beautiful book in the bible.
    it IS very important.

    love your words, girl.