Tuesday, January 10, 2012

To trust

Yesterday I heard middle ask me to complete a task for her and overheard youngest say “go ask dad ” because she knew it was something physically I couldn’t do. Dad would be the better choice for the task and besides they “know” their dad. They know he’ll do anything to help_ or fix_ or protect_ and I believe one of the most important aspects is they know that he’s present_ he’s here for them and they know that without question.

Well I remember as a little girl being afraid of thunderstorms. We lived in a mobile home for a time and I was petrified of bad weather or the threat of a tornado hitting. My mom and dad divorced when I was 4 and though I had contact with him_ he wasn’t there. Meaning I couldn’t run to him when a thunderstorm hit for security_ or have him there on a whim when I needed him with an important decision_ or call out to him for help on an answer to something. So it was almost like an act of survival_ like I didn’t know anything other to do than call out to my heavenly Father. I learned at a young age it was to put my trust in Jesus or nothing… and the first seemed a better alternative.

I used to sing an old, old song that goes:
lord prepare me to be a sanctuary
pure and holy tried and true
with thanksgiving I’ll be a living, sanctuary for you

Now I know that’s probably a little corny sounding but we used to sing that song in my church every Sunday. Then later at home over and over I would sing that song to the heavens at the top of my lungs standing out on our 4 acres of property. Not even fully grasping then or understanding totally what all it really meant. But I trusted that He heard and I wanted Him to know my life was His.

I’ve always seemed to easily trust in the midst of some kind of happening.
Like in the midst of those storms when the wind would whip and rain would pound so hard on that tin roof that you could feel our house shake. I was scared but I trusted the Lord would protect and bring me through. Or like when we’ve made a move to an unknown place with no promise of an income there, I’ve trusted that He would provide. Or when I had to walk through dad’s passing away there was complete trust in knowing that the Lord had it. So it seems like as long as there has been “happenings” or I can see or feel something taking place is when I trust the most_fully.
But where I find lack is in the quiet.
When there is no happening_ no action.
It’s when there is no event coming to look to (or it looks that way)
Those are the times when I struggle the most.
But I somehow feel it’s in these times that it’s the most important to hang on_ and to trust. Because I can try and make something happen by taking things in my own hands but it will never last. It’s bound to fail if it’s on my own will that I’m doing just to have something to do.
So I’m learning to trust in the quiet times too and just like I see in the past where He supplied or protected or gave peace I know that… He was there_ He is here_ so I will fully trust and I will keep on running. Run with me…. 

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last: but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." 
1 Cor 9:24-27

heather.

6 comments:

  1. I love that song....definitely not corny. RThanks for puttin in my head today.

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  2. amen. i always love how you articulate christ's work in your heart. and i love that little song. xo

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  3. This is good. I think this is something we all need to re-read every now and then. Blessings!

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  4. isn't it funny how that happens. it happens to me too.

    this reminds me of one of my favorite verses.

    "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which GOD has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Phil 3:14

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  5. I have tears in my eyes because it's like you read my mind! After struggling the past few years with many trials, the Lord has brought us to a time of peace...and IT IS AMAZING! But, I have found myself struggling with the quiet, just as you said. I am journeying through it with Him. Thank you so very much for sharing this today, Heather :)
    Hoping your week is great!!

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  6. Love this song :) What a great post to read tonight!

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